Fuck Yeah!
Aug 22nd, 2009 by Alexis

My band’s website is live!

And perhaps most importantly, we’re taking preorders for our first shirt design.


Just like it says, $10 if you order now. $12 when we get them in stock.

And I’m offering $20 off any custom order at if you use this shirt!

Reginald VelJohnson’s Johnson and other band names from alternate realities
Aug 5th, 2009 by Alexis

In addition to working on ye olde today (I still don’t have the custom order section finished, and the new  site’s been up for 4 months now! For shame!), I laid down some more bass tracks for Jesus and the Fuckin’ Miracles. And yes, I have been waiting pretty much my entire life to say “laid down some tracks”. And yes, I feel pretty awesome having been able to finally do so.

All that’s left is vocals, and Tim has been knocking those out like Mike Tyson (please ignore my super dated reference), so look out for more smeeeeooooth music in the next few days.

Playing bass isn’t hard, at least not if you’re a total (nerd) rockstar like me that (took 14 years of violin lessons) just rocks naturally. Guitar and bass are both way easier than violin because there’s no bowing, you get Cheater McPeter frets,  and you can limp wrist it as much as you want. In fact, I’ve probably completely ruined my left hand for the violin… I always had issues with my weeny left wrist, and bass and guitar really reinforce the bad habits my teacher spent about 7 years trying to correct. Oops.

But I’m not here to talk about wussy things like playing the violin… I’m here to talk about fucking kickass things like rocking out, goddamnit!!! Recording bass is a whole different banana (I think I just made that up, but let’s roll with it). It’s so hard to keep the momentum going when you’re playing with a recording. I just try to remember to play like I have a big dick, and that’s been working out fairly well so far.

Except when I kept screwing up this little bass solo-y part… and if you’re the bass player you can’t fuck up the solo-y bit!  I got super frustrated and almost had a full-on kicking and screaming hissyfit like I used to when I’d mess up praciting violin.  (Dammit, there’s that subject again! Perhaps I’m just not cut out for rock n roll….) The only thing that actually kept me from throwing myself on the floor and declaring that I HATE THE BASS GUITAR!!! was that I’m scarred for life since my cat Bagheera (RIP)  jumped on my ass and clawed the hell out of me during one such fit.  She was a big fan of the violin and did not tolerate such negativity.

All this music talk has had me thinking… if we didn’t already have the greatest band name in the history of Rock n Roll, what would I name our band?

Here’s a list of possible options:

Blank and the Blankity Blanks (possibly too clever for it’s own good)
Jerks Idiots Morons
Trixie and the Butt Freckles
Reginald VelJohnson’s Johnson
Pootie and the Bible Thumper Pumpersquirts

My keyboard batteries just died, which I think is a sign that it’s had quite enough of me today.

Love and other indoor sports,


Smooth Music
Jul 23rd, 2009 by Alexis

Presenting my band…
Jesus and the Fuckin’ Miracles

Tim & I spent forever working on these demos, so give them a listen, rock out a little, and then tell us what you think.

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